I had a whole post written up and I just deleted it. It was long and rambling and didn't stay on topic for long (the story of my life). Grammatically, it wasn't very good. So I got rid of it.
But...so, this is my blog. If I feel like rambling and using poor grammar skills, then so be it. lol You're getting whatever is coming off the top of my head, guys. I don't really have the motivation right now to try and figure out a series of important things I'd like to cover, so I'm just going to roam around.
My hands are cold. This house is about as well insulated as that cheap 12 dollar cooler we got at Dollar General a couple years ago. It keeps ice frozen for about 1 day- if it's not too hot and you're lucky. Now, our rent is low, so I honestly can't complain too much, but I'll be danged if I'm not tired of having a breeze blow on me every time I sit down somewhere.
Onto the topic of a house. It's super depressing that I'm 37 and I still rent an apartment. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to afford a house of our own and then I think about all the student debt we're trying to pay off and the answer is a clear and resounding "No, not in this lifetime." lol
I tried therapy this year. For two whole sessions. I didn't really like the guy at all. I got a letter in the mail the other day that they discharged me because I never called to schedule and appointment. Fair enough, I guess. I'm not 12. I shouldn't need a babysitter, but they never tried calling me even once to schedule an appointment.
I'd like to try with someone maybe a little bit nicer? This guy...I mean, he might have been great for other people, but...I didn't want to tell him anything about myself. I don't really trust people to begin with and within 10 minutes of brusquely asking me questions I was not comfortable with, he's telling me that if I don't confide in him, I might just as well not bother coming. Is that really what you're supposed to tell someone with depression and anxiety? I don't know. Maybe the whole therapy thing just isn't for me. Maybe I'm too stupid to figure out how it works. *shrug* I'm doing okay right now, so that's something.
This is off topic, but I love pajamas. I love everything about them. They're soft, cozy, they're made of really comfy material. Yep. There's just something about jammies that makes me happy. I wish I had a huge closer and could amass a fantastic stash of them! As it is right now, I've got a good sized drawer full, but it's not enough...and never will be. lol All of the pajamas for me! Except fleece. Those are forged in hell by Satan himself. Static-ridden and ridiculously hot. Ugh. No. lol
And fleece sheets?? Yikes. Talk about static. You'd wake up with your hair completely sucked to your pillow. Or you'd be woken up every time you moved, because you'd get shocked. I have the same loathing in my heart for micro-fiber sheets. Nope.
It's Wednesday night and I haven't written anything yet.
By now, I should at least have a rough outline of what I'm doing for this week's prompt on tumblr. I should be finished with the last chapter of the Content story. :( I started off so so well with that.
I have 19 chapters published. I had the 20th chapter written, then I decided I wanted to change the end because I wanted to do a sequel story, and I re-wrote 19 and started 20 but never finished it. It's kind of like...I'm going to mess it up. What I need to do is sit my bit butt down and write the damn thing. When I open it and try to write, it seems like whatever I write is absolute and utter crap. I feel bad for the people waiting and waiting for the end. It sucks to let people down. I'd posted every single week, on time, up till the end of August, when I posted 19. And now...nothing. It's really frustrating and disappointing.
I'm using the prompts as an excuse. It's wrong.
I should probably be writing right now...lol
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
What to write?
I started this blog because I felt like I have things to share sometimes...
The problem is- I have a tough time discerning what to write and what not to write. My life as a whole is pretty mundane. I'd like to think it's a bit more fun and glamorous than it is, but...yeah, it's not. lol
So...writing.
I'm not great at it- writing, that is. I wish I was...I love reading and I do enjoy writing, but if I am honest with myself, it's not all that good. I don't have one of those minds that can keep track of complex plot, pepper my story with interesting and seldom used (but commonly known) words, or describe what characters are feeling. I'm a bit bummed about it, really. I'm going to keep doing it, and keep trying, just because I like it, but still. Part of me will always be disappointed that I'm just average.
So...vacation.
We're leaving on Saturday for Florida. In typical Mandy fashion, I am a combination of excited, terrified, sick, and wanting to cry over the whole ordeal. If you know me, you'll know that I deal with a healthy dose of anxiety pretty much every day of my life. I don't use any medication to cope with it, although sometimes I feel like I should. I did at one point in time, but I was unhappy with the side effects that went along with it. So, I do what I always do, tell myself to "suck it up" and "make it work" and I get by.
That sounded complain-y. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. It's more like Jack Webb. "Just the facts, ma'am."
So, anyway....Florida. Yes. Warmth, sunshine, I'm meeting a friend, we're going on an air boat ride, and I'm planning on spending some quality time in the pools and floating like a beached whale on the lazy river. And cupcakes...because my friend makes some pretty amazing cupcakes, from what I hear.
I just washed the dishes and am rewarding myself with a cup of tea. It's not just any tea. It's Nine tea, based on my favorite Doctor from the tv series Doctor Who. It's described as "A bit darker, more intense brew than the others, but still with a surprising amount of sweetness, considering the contents." Gunpowder, chestnut, Irish breakfast, aniseed, and cinnamon bits
It's seriously amazing and probably the best tea I've ever had the privilege to drink. If you've an interest in trying it (or trying any number of amazing fandom inspired teas), check out adagio. Here's a link to the Nine tea. I've tried a number of blends and the 10th Doctor blend is super yummy too, as well as another Ninth Doctor tea. Both of the Rose teas have been a bit too floral for my taste, but still lovely in their own way. Basically, if you like tea and if you've got a fandom you're a part of, you're probably going to find something you like at adagio. Seriously.
Mel asked for numbers 1-26 of made up facts, but I don't want to spoil you all at once! Here are the first 5, which were definitely not just made up off the top of my head right now. Nope. Definitely not.
Made up (by me) fact #1- My tees-shirts are all best friends and cheer each other on as they get picked to be worn.
#2- The socks in "the orphanage" are sad and lonely and miss their mates. They bond together with the other lost socks, but things aren't the same until they are paired back up. :(
#3- The airbags and seatbelts get all the safety glory in the automotive industry, but the mudflaps on my car are also an unsung hero, protecting others from stones, mud, and water spray.
#4- Potholes occur on motorways because even though the road is a smooth cohesive unit, it is made up of smaller parts- these parts sometimes become aggravated with each other and argue. On occasion, certain rocks will band together and defect from the roadway, leaving a hole in their wake.
#5- Some day I will do something extraordinary. :)
I think that's all for tonight, friends. I hope you are well.
The problem is- I have a tough time discerning what to write and what not to write. My life as a whole is pretty mundane. I'd like to think it's a bit more fun and glamorous than it is, but...yeah, it's not. lol
So...writing.
I'm not great at it- writing, that is. I wish I was...I love reading and I do enjoy writing, but if I am honest with myself, it's not all that good. I don't have one of those minds that can keep track of complex plot, pepper my story with interesting and seldom used (but commonly known) words, or describe what characters are feeling. I'm a bit bummed about it, really. I'm going to keep doing it, and keep trying, just because I like it, but still. Part of me will always be disappointed that I'm just average.
So...vacation.
We're leaving on Saturday for Florida. In typical Mandy fashion, I am a combination of excited, terrified, sick, and wanting to cry over the whole ordeal. If you know me, you'll know that I deal with a healthy dose of anxiety pretty much every day of my life. I don't use any medication to cope with it, although sometimes I feel like I should. I did at one point in time, but I was unhappy with the side effects that went along with it. So, I do what I always do, tell myself to "suck it up" and "make it work" and I get by.
That sounded complain-y. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. It's more like Jack Webb. "Just the facts, ma'am."
So, anyway....Florida. Yes. Warmth, sunshine, I'm meeting a friend, we're going on an air boat ride, and I'm planning on spending some quality time in the pools and floating like a beached whale on the lazy river. And cupcakes...because my friend makes some pretty amazing cupcakes, from what I hear.
I just washed the dishes and am rewarding myself with a cup of tea. It's not just any tea. It's Nine tea, based on my favorite Doctor from the tv series Doctor Who. It's described as "A bit darker, more intense brew than the others, but still with a surprising amount of sweetness, considering the contents." Gunpowder, chestnut, Irish breakfast, aniseed, and cinnamon bits
It's seriously amazing and probably the best tea I've ever had the privilege to drink. If you've an interest in trying it (or trying any number of amazing fandom inspired teas), check out adagio. Here's a link to the Nine tea. I've tried a number of blends and the 10th Doctor blend is super yummy too, as well as another Ninth Doctor tea. Both of the Rose teas have been a bit too floral for my taste, but still lovely in their own way. Basically, if you like tea and if you've got a fandom you're a part of, you're probably going to find something you like at adagio. Seriously.
Mel asked for numbers 1-26 of made up facts, but I don't want to spoil you all at once! Here are the first 5, which were definitely not just made up off the top of my head right now. Nope. Definitely not.
Made up (by me) fact #1- My tees-shirts are all best friends and cheer each other on as they get picked to be worn.
#2- The socks in "the orphanage" are sad and lonely and miss their mates. They bond together with the other lost socks, but things aren't the same until they are paired back up. :(
#3- The airbags and seatbelts get all the safety glory in the automotive industry, but the mudflaps on my car are also an unsung hero, protecting others from stones, mud, and water spray.
#4- Potholes occur on motorways because even though the road is a smooth cohesive unit, it is made up of smaller parts- these parts sometimes become aggravated with each other and argue. On occasion, certain rocks will band together and defect from the roadway, leaving a hole in their wake.
#5- Some day I will do something extraordinary. :)
I think that's all for tonight, friends. I hope you are well.
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